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Frustration in Children

It is a very good and essential habit to learn and must be taught right from beginning. Once your child is able to learn it he is sure to grow into calm, matured and rational adult.

· Validating the Child’s Feelings- Firstly whatever validates child's feelings might be—accept that feelings are there. You should use graceful language that is appropriate for your child’s emotional maturity. When you are of validating your child's feelings during this time you are also modeling position of being as an observer.

· Dealing With Anger and Conflicts- Anger is also a way that can protect anybody from feelings of badly hurt, self-defeat, pain of lose and sadness. Some time Anger is can be a way to avoiding showing vulnerability when it does not feel safe to show or express softer emotions. Its natural turning to anger is therefore its automatic. Help your child to understand the underlying feelings behind anger, and address those feelings instead of reacting to anger. To pull this off, however, you have to be managing and not reacting to your frustration. You also have to avoid urge to argue back and defend or justify your position.

· Frustration over Not Being in Control-One of most common sources of frustration for a gifted child has to do with their perception that others' rules do not make sense, are not logical, and things that others say or do are not rational. Believe that world should operate according to their rules and they feel outraged when the world does not oblige. One possible way to address this is to find some activity where the child truly can set rules and can feel in control.

· Teach Your Child to Imagine Others’ Perspectives- Here is another way you can help your child when he explodes over perceived injustices or does not like following rules set by others. The idea is to help your child recognize that other people have different perspectives about things, and that their reason for doing something may be completely consistent with their own perspective, even if they are different from his own.

· Younger children, especially, have a difficult time recognizing that other perspectives can exist in other people's mind. In fact, being able to conceive of a different belief being held in another person's mind is a learned process, often called Theory of Mind, and usually does not even start to develop until around age three. It can take several more years for capacity to develop to point where a child can actually understand another's behavior and reactions in terms of completely different perceptions existing in another's mind.

You can encourage child to try to imagine as many different motives as possible, that other person might have had for doing what he or she did. Approach this as brainstorming exercise and challenge your child to be creative, no matter how outlandish his response might be. You can help by throwing in some idea of your own and even making game out of it where you take turn guessing at motives and intentions of the other person.

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