Communication with an Adolescent
An adolescent is considered to be teen years12-20. This period is transition from childhood to adulthood. During these years it is very hard to keep lines of communication open between parent and child, but it can be done. Adolescence is perhaps most critical phase in once life. The experiences, adjustments and compromises one has to make during this time can leave life long impact on the child's life.
Generation gap is another reason for communication gap between parents and adolescent children. It is not true that difference of choices between parent and children would always be taken as a thing to rebel about by kids. However, they would certainly see it as change in tastes and time and would perceive their parents' choice as outdated. This may also include their value and moral. The only way out to communicate with them effectively.
Try following tips:-
1) Effective communication happens when both people understand each other's point of view. Parents should be able to communicate their fear and concern to their children and in turn try and understand their need also.
2) From parents' side their concern should be communicated not as compulsion but as an expectation which if child would understand and choose to follow, would make parent happy.
3) If you are not satisfied with the child's company then try and talk to him about harm that it is causing to him. Don’t humiliate him by calling him weak person or somebody who easily gets influenced by other.
4) Try not to land up into unnecessary argument. If a discussion is going no where and is turning into heated debate, cut the discussion then and there. You might want to start it later when it has cool down and there is appropriate cue.
5) Don’t always give in to your child's demand. Sometimes is good but do set limit and never cross them yourself. Make your expectation clear to child and let him know what you would never agree to.
6) Listen carefully with all of attention when your teenagers want to talk to you. Try to respect their opinion even if they are different from your. Respect them and expect same from them. You have two ears and one mouth for reason. Listen them then talk
7) Give your teenager support by expressing confidence in their ability to make good judgment. When they make mistakes support them and help them to see better way to do things; so they will learn and grow from mistakes. Do not criticize them needlessly.
8) Let your child know what rules and expectations are for your family, and expect them to abide by them. Choose consequences that fit infraction; such as if your teenager break curfew they would be grounded and unable to go out next evening. Let teenager know that if they are out with friend and are ever in situation where they are uncomfortable; if they call home; you will pick them up willingly.
Good communication and right dosage of friendliness would soon take care of most of problems that you are facing with your adolescent child and you will have smooth fun relationship to cherish.